Mom Guilt
Dateline: 5/9/98, Updated 8/26/99
By Ann Zeise and Carol Moxley
 Another Mother's
Day. This homeschooling mom can't help wondering if her
family truly appreciates and understands the direction she has
chosen for her life. Sometimes a bit of guilt seeps into her
otherwise positive outlook: could she have done more?
I know what I want for Mother's Day!
I want my son to give me a big hug and tell me how glad he
is to spend his days with me, that he really doesn't mind spending
his days with his mom. That would assuage the guilt I feel that
he'd rather be spending his days with other kids.
  And from my husband I want a big hug and
to hear that he doesn't really mind being the sole bread winner
for this household, that he still finds me interesting and is
proud of the way his son has learned and mastered skills. This
would assuage the guilt I feel about not being a 'mover and a
shaker' out in the Silicon
Valley rat race making tons of money -- even if I could.
This would assuage my guilt feelings about the skills my son
has not yet learned and mastered.
From my mom I want a big hug and to hear that my son's helpfulness,
politeness and cheerfulness are all she needs. This would assuage
the guilt I feel when he does commit a breech of etiquette.
I want my older daughter to give me a big hug and tell her
younger brother that he's turning out "cool" even though
his experiences aren't the same as what she went though as a
teenager. This would assuage my guilt that I didn't homeschool
her.
 I want
my uncle to give me a big hug and to tell me that Boy Scout rank
and badge requirements make a fine curriculum. After all, it
worked for him! This would assuage my guilt feelings that these
requirements are about the only structure in our homeschool.
And from each of you reading this, especially you kids, teens,
father and other relatives, I want a
little note telling me how this feature helped you make mom
feel a little less guilty and a lot more appreciated not only
on Mother's Day, but on any day. I miss you.
 Some
ideas for kids on what to give Mom for Mother's Day.... as well
as the big hug and thank you!
- A packet of bubble bath ... and the promise to let her take
the bath all by herself!
- Samples of herbal teas ... and the promise you won't jump
on her when she's drinking it.
- If you are going out on Mother's Day to church or relatives,
polish Mom's shoes for her on Saturday ... in the right color
(ask first.)
- A rose bud from your garden ... with a stem at least a foot
long ... or a bouquet of wild flowers in a vase (water helps.)
- Get up early and do some chore so Mom won't have to ask later
... like have the dishwasher emptied and pets fed before she
gets up.
- Fix Mom breakfast in bed ... juice, eggs or pancakes, toast,
and coffee, if she drinks it, would be most appreciated!
- Write a poem or story how your mom is like some famous woman
or movie star ... only better!
Here are some features and net links to help make each and
every day Mother's Day for Mom.
Avoiding
Home School Mother Burn-out
Homeschooling is quite an adventure. Emotions run high
and sometimes they bottom out. Confidence mixes right in with
insecurities, joys with frustration. Here are suggestions for
keeping Mother from being overwhelmed during the low moments.
By Cherie Logan.
Care For the Primary Care
Giver
Making a plan to get Mom's needs met first, for if she isn't
taken care of, homeschooling just won't work. A review of Ed
Dickerson's Book from your Homeschooling Guide.
Dealing
With Doubts
When you were in the midst of homeschooling, did you ever feel
like you weren't sure what you were doing? Cafi Cohen reassures
us that learning by doing is what makes our children winners.
Dealing
With Doubts
Janet Keip on unschooling: Many homeschoolers have never heard
of unschooling, or as our homeschooling friend demonstrated,
cannot yet grasp the concept of child-directed learning through
living. [HEM]
Living Joyfully With Children
I keep saying Win and Bill Sweet's mantra to myself: maximize
freedom and success, minimize fear and failure. I figure I can't
go wrong!
Homeschooling
Paranoia
Do you vacillate between child-led, developmentally appropriate,
interest-initiated unschooling on one hand, and traditional,
structured, academic-based education on the other? Diane Keith
pokes fun at our mood swings.
On
American Motherhood
by Theodore Roosevelt, March 13, 1905. A speech given by President
Roosevelt in Washington on March 13, 1905, before the National
Congress of Mothers. [Editor's note: Placed here for contrast.]
On
Self-Doubt
By Lenita Harsch: Self-doubt is a part of homeschooling life.
Even college professors worry they might not be teaching "right."
You are not alone in this. [HEM]
Some Days
Are Just Like That!
From my 1996 journal I discover that the lapse of years doesn't
stop those frustrating mornings from happening. By Cherie Logan,
homeschool mother of 10.
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