Care For the Primary Care Giver
Dateline: 09/7/97
By Ann Zeise
I tend to make elaborate homeschooling resolutions in September.
But now, after attending Ed Dickerson's "Destinations"
workshop at the Home=Education Conference in Sacramento, I'm
determined to put ME FIRST! If I am to model patience, self-motivated
learning and enthusiasm, then I just can't be too tired to do
so. Before you all think I've gone totally egotistical, let me
tell you, I love nurturing my family, but I need time to myself,
to read, to create these web pages, to take a walk, and just
be me.
Part of "detoxing"
a child brought to homeschooling from the school environment
is learning to accept responsibility for ones own motivation
for learning. Helping with household tasks, so that they will
become routine and easy to do, is an early, important step. Believe
me, your child will not be "falling behind" his peers:
in September schools are also setting up routines and going over
forgotten skills, such as the orderly passing of ditto sheets,
from last year.
Ed Dickerson is a pioneer and leader of the homeschool movement
in Iowa. I got to talking with him during hors d'oeuvres about
his educational philosophy, and I found we were sympathetic.
A homeschooler for 20 years, he is dedicated to promoting the
well-being and functionality of the family, as well as education
that is child-centered. His workbook, "Destinations,"
has a jaunty, nautical theme, to help you chart your course for
your homeschooling family, and help you stay on that course.
The first step toward charting your own course for cultivating
a rich learning environment for your family is to start with
meeting the needs of the primary care giver. A ship flounders
without a healthy, motivated and enthusiastic captain.
Preparing to Cast Off
Answer the personal questions below as honestly and completely
as you can. Answer as they concern your needs, no one
elses. None of this information is submitted over the Internet,
but remains on your computer temporarily while you use it. You
may also SAVE or PRINT from the FILE menu to use this offline.
What is missing from your life?
Sample: A social life. I never have time just to sit and chat
with women friends.
What do you long for but never allow yourself?
Sample: When I was younger I used to play guitar. I wish I
could justify the time for practice again.
What personal necessities get slighted or neglected altogether?
Sample: Exercise! I want to do the fun kind, like swimming
or walking, not bending to pick up stuff.
Ed next suggests you look for those obstacles which are
crowding out your opportunities to fulfill the needs you
listed above.
What's driving you crazy at home?
Sample: The laundry. I'm doing it all, over and over and over.
What tasks would you like to give away? Have someone else
do?
Sample: Meal planning. All I get is complaints for my choices.
What important things aren't getting done, anyway?
Sample: The garden drip system went on the blink, and the
plants are dying for lack of water.
Setting and Prioritizing Goals
Thinking about the above concerns should have helped you focus
on your personal goals for the near future. You are ready to
start setting and prioritizing your goals. This is not set in
cement. You'll want to redo as these goals are met and new concerns
arise, probably once a year is enough.
Ed, in his workbook, "Destinations," recommends
you start by making a little table like this one, and filling
in your own seven top personal needs in order to maintain
your enthusiasm. I've entered a few to give you ideas. Keep
or toss these, and add your own in the clear online table below.
Mine: Solitude, Exercise, Grooming, Writing Time
Personal Goals
1
|
|
2
|
|
3
|
|
4
|
|
5
|
|
6
|
|
7
|
|
In the right column, list your seven top personal goals, in
simple terms, chosen from the thoughts you entered above. Order
doesn't matter.
Next, compare, by number, each goal to another, select the
goal that is most important to you. From the sample, if Solitude
[#1] is more important than Exercise [#2], where it says 1 or
?, you'd click and hold on the down arrow, select 1 and release
the mouse.
Goal 1 or ?
|
Goal 2 or ?
|
Goal 3 or ?
|
Goal 4 or ?
|
Goal 5 or ?
|
Goal 6 or ?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Count the number of times in any row or column that each goal
number has been selected, and enter in the second column of your
Personal Goal chart above.
Next, rank your goals in order of the most frequently chosen
to the least in the third column above. If there appears to be
a "tie," go back to the selection grid. The goal you
chose there determines the tie breaker.
Last of all, make an action plan on how you can meet these
goals, at least to the extent you feel you can maintain enthusiasm
for homeschooling. You may enter it here, or if you need more
room, make your own larger chart offline.
There! Feel better already, don't you? Your spouse and older
children may be interested in trying this exercise, too, and
then you could compare your lists, see where they overlap and
where others have goals of their own.
To save this worksheet, most browsers allow you to Print or
Save from the FILE menu at the top of your screen.
For information on ordering Ed Dickerson's workbook, "Destinations,"
email him at his website or email: edickers@netins.net
The nautical themed workbook covers additional goal setting
for your homeschool and strategies for attaining those goals.
It also covers profiling your "crew" and help logging
your progress to attaining your family goals. The workbook comes
on 3-holed punched pages, ready to put in a binder. I paid $20
for it at the Home=Education Conference. Tell Ed you heard about
his workbook at "A to Z Home's Cool" from Ann Zeise.
|