Fruit
Cake Recipe
"Fruitcakes
make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to
find a way to damage them." - Dave
Barry
Real Fruit Cake Recipes Below
California Recipes
on Go Milpitas
Note to those wondering why a "booze"
joke is on a homeschool site
You'll need the following:
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Put it down somewhere.
Check the whiskey
again.
To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in
that large, fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar
and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey
is still okay.
Cry
another tup.
Turn off the mixer!
It's splattered dough
everywhere!
Beat two leggs
and add to the fluffy bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit.
Mix on the tuner.
If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose
with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey
to check for tonsisticity... Whew is
it hot in here ?
Okay.. Next, sift two cups of salt...
or something.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon
... urp ... juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table ... spoon ... of sugar
or something ... Who cares? Whatever
the heck you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350
degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Check the whishkey
again.
Throw up in
the bowl and go to bed.
Happy Holidays
Real Fruit Cake
Recipes
My apologies to all those who came here from Yahoo expecting
a real fruit cake recipe. I did NOT submit this page to them.
Here are some real fruit cake recipe sites.... (These links last
checked 12/31/10.)
Note to those
wondering why a "booze" joke is on a homeschool site
To those
in the Temperance Union: You
will notice, if you go through the links on my page, that links
for "whiskey" lead to information about the Whiskey
Rebellion, the Temperance Movement, the dangers of drinking,
and how the distillation of whiskey influenced American and Canadian
history, and that the last link to "Throw up..." is
to Alcoholics
Anonymous :)
Sometimes a bit of humor can help a family that is in denial
find the resources they need to cope with alcoholism, and get
help. I find it does a better job of getting people to AA than
attempting to lecture.
You'll find I do this a lot on my site: just gently persuade
adults and children to look a little deeper into matters, but
with a gentle, gloved hand and a light heart.
More Holiday Jokes
Google+ Profile
|