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Homeschooling
Boys
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.
ft. house 4 inches deep.
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them
with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is
not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear
and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to
a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is
on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the
ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit
a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh",
it's already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old Boy.
- Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
- VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
- The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with
or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
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- Get Thee to a Punnery
by Richard, Lederer
- A fun way to laugh while learning parts of speech in order
to pun.
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